Hi. My name is Jessica. And I am a guac-aholic.

My addiction started at Mexican restaurants at a young age where my Mom made guacamole a “forbidden fruit”. She was always saying “Not too many chips or you won’t eat your dinner”.

My addiction only grew when I got a waitressing job in high school at Pappasito’s Cantina. We had bowls and bowls and bowls of the most amazing guacamole available at any given moment. Which for people with no self control which means me, every time I would go back to chat with the chefs I was shoveling guacamole into my mouth on freshly fried tortilla chips like it was my job.

Up until a few years ago I had no idea that this was unhealthy. I knew the chips weren’t the greatest, but I just doubled the amount of guacamole on each chip and figured I was good.

But one day one of my coworkers told me she had not had guacamole in years because of how fattening it was. I rolled my eyes and thought ‘Stop haten on the guac skinnybitch’. But I immediately ran to my desk and googled nutrition of an avocado and proceeded to openly weep.

Who knew a fruit (or is it a vegetable? I always forget.) was that high in fat? Is it good fat? Yes. Is it good in moderation? Absolutely.  Did I eat it in moderation? Hell no.

So recently when I was looking for this Chocolate Cream Pie recipe, I stumbled upon a recipe for a fake guacamole. It’s made with Broccoli and looks exactly like delicious, creamy guacamole.


I am not gonna lie to you, it does not taste like guacamole and it really doesn’t even taste like broccoli. It does however taste like a delicious dip that goes fabulously on tortilla chips.

I liked it hot, Jorge liked it cold…and between the 6 people at dinner, there was none left. So while it might not be as good as guacamole, it’s a very delicious dip. Just don’t try to sell it to a guacamole addict as “guacamole” because that’s pretty much the equivalent of giving someone a margarita without tequila.


Recipe Note: Leave the little pinch of curry in. Seriously.


2 cups cooked broccoli
1 garlic clove
1 small jalapeno, seeded
1 green onion stalk
2 oz asagio cheese, shredded
1/4 cup light sour cream
1/4 cup light mayo made with olive oil
1/3 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 teaspoon curry
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice


Combine all ingredients in a food processor (or blender). Process until smooth.

If I am coming over, serve it hot. If Jorge is coming over, serve it chilled.

But either way serve it with tortilla chips. Or if you are crazy, serve it with fresh veggies.

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